The Assassin’s Creed(s) For those of you who loved the Da Vinci Code

The Assassin’s Creed(s)

For those of you who loved the Da Vinci Code

The first Ass Creed was something of a rarity in the industry, a bold if somewhat misguided attempt to inject something new into a market soaked up to the eyeballs in blockbuster FPS fare or dire kitsch wii games that shamelessly attempt to pound life back into characters who are long past their sell-by date. I’m looking at you Mario.

One story followed the detestably bland Altair, that rarest of things an Arab hashashin with a tone-neutral American accent, a fallen champion of an order of hitmen that perplexing attempts to keep the peace in Second Crusader Palestine through political assassinations. Our other story set in the futurey present day follows Desmond Miles a man more whiny and clueless than the love-child of Anakin Skywalker and Peaches Geldof.  The premise was somewhat difficult to swallow, for the purpose of some evil plot by some beige yet nefarious corporation Desmond Miles must lie down on an unfinished MRI scanner or Animus, as they called it and is forced to relive his ancestral memories, those of Altair.

Now it was undeniable that running across the beautiful and accurately rendered rooftops of Crusader Jerusalem and Acre was tons of fun,  and pulling off a successful assassination with a wrist blade that flicks Wolverine like into the throat of your hapless enemies made you feel more than just a little cool. Unfortunately this historical action was frequently interrupted by mind-numbingly dull sequences in which dear Desmond gets up, wanders round, goes to bed, picks his nose, and talks to his tormentors neither of which were memorable enough for me to name. No doubt it was the developers attempt to remind us that this was a historical epic that touched on the sensitive topics of blind faith to a cause and religious intolerance, no no, this is god-awful science-fiction conspiracy, masquerading as something new and interesting. Apart from being an extremely tedious jolt out of the fun and into the mundane, it was also somewhat insulting. It’s as though the developers felt it necessary to give us a modern day protagonist to “relate to” that history is so confusing and impenetrable we need a simpler explanation so as not to fry the brains of the hopelessly cretinous sloth with the controller in his hands.  If you’re wondering the real reason behind the conflict between the Muslim and Christian world it’s because the Assassins and the Templars (o Christ them as villains again) are fighting over mysterious artefacts that can control human minds and distort perception. Assassin's Creed ended with Altair being betrayed by his mentor, a narrative cliché so overused in games it’s on the verge of stepping into parody, and Desmond being sprung from the MRI scanner by the blonde-assistant and noticing these funny symbols scrawled on the walls.

Assassin's Creed 2 picks up right after this moment, and unfortunately the first moments of the game are spent with Desmond being led like the toddler he is through the danger a  the safety of the modern-day Assassin’s lair. Though I commend Ubisoft for lightening the tone of the first game which took itself far too seriously for what it was, it’s hard to sense the urgency we’re meant to feel when the modern assassins conduct themselves like a bickering Mystery Team, out to uncover the conspiracy of whose haunting the old carnival in Peaceville.

However we at last lie down on a new Animus (basically a rust covered recliner) and step into the roof-hopping shoes of our new ancestor Ezio Auditore di Firenze, and the world of Renaissance Italy. Ezio is instantly more likeable than the Spoc like Altair who managed to be both smug and lifeless all at the same time. Ezio is charming and roguish, and for once a video-game protagonist undergoes an actual development of character, maturing from a carefree bourgeois wastrel to the grimmer professional assassin of the later acts. This change is inevitably wrought by family tragedy and betrayal, as following his father’s and brother’s hanging he is forced to don the family wrist blade and now iconic hawk-like hood. Unlike Asscreed the First, no doubt helped in part by the cultural phenomenon started by Dan Brown, the shadowy conspiracy stuff involving secret societies working behind the scenes of real historical events suits the setting of Renaissance Italy perfectly. The rooftops and landmarks of Italy’s old maritime republics are a perfect playground for Ezio who moves with realistic weight and agility.

The improvements on the first game are innumerable, as dyes bought from tailors allow for clothing customisation, armourers new weapons and even art shops to decorate your Tuscan Villa. These distractions unlike the token side-missions of the first game actually work to intrigue and motivate you into exploring the nook and cranny of each city, all of them possessing a unique flavour, despite the universal three boxes with a white sheet laid over them, left to signify spots to begin free-running. The combat has been much improved with the different enemy types injecting much needed strategy into the swordplay. In the first game once you had learnt to counter your enemies blows,it left you somewhat overpowered as you thrust sword after sword into hapless crusader foes.

The side-quests as mentioned before are all individually planned and thought out, each and everyone a mini mission requiring different tactics and strategy, to say nothing of the story missions which have been perfectly thought out to be open to the player’s plans as well as being distinguishable from the last bloody murder. This action is mercifully only interrupted once by Desmond and those pesky kids, and despite the improvements you nevertheless feel a sinking feeling of disappointment when you are wrenched from the exciting adventures of Ezio Auditore.

However despite the vast array of improvements on the last game, Assassin's Creed is forever held back by the decision to make it all about two secret organisations fighting over some old alien artefacts. Damn spoilers. Yes that’s what the great mystery of the “Pieces of Eden” boils down to, Aliens. A jarring end tonally to what was otherwise a rather good delve into Italy’s past. The finale which takes place in Rome, right in the heart of the Vatican which involved a good balance from assassiny stealth, and swashbuckling was ruined by what basically amounted to bout of bareknuckle boxing with the Pope. This terrible final bossfight was topped with a conversation with an Alien projection that gave us a little more exposition leaving Ezio confused and my disbelief suspension array stretched to the limit. This was not helped by Desmond’s timely interjection of “What the fuck?” again, as though we didn’t know that’s what we were meant to be feeling. However despite my utter contempt for the conspiracy bollocks, I don’t doubt that this is a franchise that will draw me back again and again, because at the end of it all wouldn’t we all like to climb to the top of the Duomo and throw ourselves from the top into a haycart?